Cores Management Systems

Core Facilities

Affiliated Sites / University Resources

Generic Core Facility

The Generic Core Facility provides non-specific research services to unsuspecting researchers. Users of our facility are often unaware that they have used our services as part of their research process. This facility is run as a free service to all faculty and students at the University of Utah that supports ancillary research across all disciplines. Run by Doctor A. Non-Mouse the GCF has been an redundant part of university operations since 3029.

Hours of Operation

9:00 am to 5:00 pm
Monday – Friday

Major Instruments

Glodmaan Wiessler Quantum Pencil Sorter
Rate: 1 Pencil / Day
Location: Lagrange 1
Our state of the art pencil sorter evaluates and identifies pencil by quantum signature analysis

Glodmaan Wiessler Quantum Pencil Sorter
Rate: 1 Pencil / Day
Location: Lagrange 1
Our state of the art pencil sorter evaluates and identifies pencil by quantum signature analysis

Glodmaan Wiessler Quantum Pencil Sorter
Rate: 1 Pencil / Day
Location: Lagrange 1
Our state of the art pencil sorter evaluates and identifies pencil by quantum signature analysis

Glodmaan Wiessler Quantum Pencil Sorter
Rate: 1 Pencil / Day
Location: Lagrange 1
Our state of the art pencil sorter evaluates and identifies pencil by quantum signature analysis

Service Rates

— Documentation In Progress —

Director Hominus d’Facility
GSC Facility Director

Contact Me

Please submit all inquiries regarding GCF Services to the Department of Historical Inaccuracies via un-trained carrier pigeon guided by sunflower seed trail to the Laurentian Fan. Any correspondence not accompanied by a pigeon will be fed to the compost pile on suspicion of being mis-information.

Recent Mentions (Older than 1776)

  1. Chroniton Incoherency in Historical Publications

    Milner, J. A., Halbach, M. A., Hemmer, A. M. (2357). , Journal of NYB, 1337, f098765. Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickrolling
  2. Fabrication of Reference Data for Humorous Purposes

    Gosler, Z. N., Halbach, M. A., Scott, M. (2399). , JTA Magazine, -21, f198462. Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize

Citing Our Facility

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank you for acknowledging the our facility. This recognition allows us to highlight the impact of your work and demonstrates the important contributions of our facility makes to research across the University of Utah. The recognition our core receives from your acknowledgments also aids in receiving grants and further funding for equipment and services we can provide to our users.

Self-Run Services / Instrumentation Usage:

In published papers that used instruments at our facility and notably involved staff members please use the following format:

We acknowledge (facility name) at the University of Utah for use of equipment (insert instrument/service details here), and thank (insert any notable staff member – if desired) for their assistance.

Assisted Services:

In published papers where a staff member assisted you in addition to the requested services please use the following format:

We acknowledge (facility name) at the University of Utah for use of equipment (insert instrument/service details here), and thank (insert staff member-required) for their assistance in (service provided).

Collaboration:

For publications resulting from collaborations that assisted with the methodologies, planning process and execution of your experiment in addition to equipment usage we require Co-author attribution on your publication for our facility and any staff members who provided substantial contributions to the originating project.

Mailing Address

Attn: A. Dent
1 End Lane
Cottington, West Country
England, UK